


Escape (The Bit of Danger Song)

by merelypassingtime



Series: Meretricious Melodies [7]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Based on a song, Crack, Humor, M/M, i am sorry about this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 07:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11270406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merelypassingtime/pseuds/merelypassingtime
Summary: You know what the world did not at all need? Escape (The Pina Colada Song) rewritten to be about Johnlock. But that is what it got anyway.





	Escape (The Bit of Danger Song)

_(sung to the tune of Escape (The Pina Colada Song))_

I was tired of my flatmate, he'd been teasing me too long  
Prancing around in just a sheet and stringing me along  
So while he was in his mind palace, I pulled up Grindr on my phone  
And in the 'in your area' section this is the profile I was shown

"If you like a bit of danger, and chasing through the rain  
If you're not too boring, if you have half a brain  
If you like it hard and fast against the wall, high on adrenaline after a scrape  
I'm the shag that you’ve looked for, text me for a no-string escape."

I didn’t hesitate a second, I know that sounds kind of sad  
But being around a gorgeous detective was driving me mad  
So I typed out a message, hoping for a quick reply  
And though I'm not a real looker, I still thought I'd try

"Yes, I like a bit of danger, and chasing through the rain  
I'm not much into talking, I am into some pain  
I’ve got to meet you as soon as possible, and bind you up in duct tape  
At a place called Angelo's, where we'll start our escape"

So I waited with high hopes, then he walked in the place  
I knew his coat in an instant, I knew the cheekbones on his face  
It was my own crazy flatmate, and he said, "Oh, it's you"  
And we laughed like it was a crime scene, and I said, "I never knew"

"That you like a bit of danger, and chasing through the rain  
And the feel of silk restraints, and to play with some pain  
If you like it hard and fast against the wall, high on adrenaline after a scrape  
You're the man that I've looked for, come with me and escape."

"If you like a bit of danger, and chasing through the rain  
If you're not too boring, if you have half a brain  
If you like it hard and fast against the wall, high on adrenaline after a scrape  
I'm the shag that you’ve looked for, text me for a no-string escape."


End file.
